Story 2 - Part 4: The Political Figure

ترجمه انگلیسی:

Before I even arrived home, news of my bravery had already reached there. As soon as I entered the house, Hassani’s mother came forward with countless kindnesses and said, “Bravo! You’ve finally become someone important. Yesterday, no one would have given you a second glance. Today, you raise your banner against the Shah and the Prime Minister, confront battalions of soldiers and gunmen, and speak as eloquently as a nightingale. People say even the Prime Minister himself kissed your lips! Well done! A thousand bravos! Now let Haj Ali’s wife burst with envy—good riddance!”

I saw that my wife truly believed her husband had turned into Rostam-e-Dastan. But I didn’t show any pride; I maintained my composure, puffed up my chest a little, and said, “Well, after all, this country has an owner! The aspirations of the nation must be fulfilled…” In short, all the strange words and phrases I had heard in the assembly but hadn’t managed to deliver to the crowd outside, I now recited to my wife. I even managed to confuse her with it all!

The next morning, the capital’s newspapers each published detailed reports of yesterday’s events, attributing my enthusiasm to the “awakening of the nation’s sentiments.” Especially Haqiqate Shashaani newspaper, whose opening line, read to me by Hassani with plenty of errors, has stayed in my memory to this day: “Though cotton is a plant and iron is a mineral, Ja’far the cotton carder and Kaveh the blacksmith are of the same essence and bloom from the same garden. Both are valiant sons of Iran and defenders of its independence and freedom!”

Someone even came, introducing himself as a “reporter,” saying he wanted to “interview” me. He asked me all sorts of strange questions that wouldn’t make sense even to a jinn, and I had no idea what use they were to him. Even funnier, a foreigner showed up wanting to take my picture. My wife hurled a hundred insults at him and didn’t even open the door, making it clear that we Iranians wouldn’t fall for such nonsense for free.

In short, the first sign that I had become a political figure was that from the very next day, newspapers descended on our house like locusts on a field, one after another. There was no title they didn’t bestow upon me: “The True Leader of the Nation,” “Father of the Homeland and Patriots,” “Plato of the Age,” “Aristotle of the Era.” Not a single honor was left unused to describe me.

Alas, my wife didn’t truly understand the meaning of these words, and frankly, my own understanding wasn’t much better than hers!