Story 2 - Part 5: The Political Figure

That morning, Haj Ali came to visit me and suggested that we have a “mustache-to-mustache” conversation. I offered him a hookah and said I was ready to hear him out. Haj Ali took a puff and, with a raised eyebrow, said:
“Brother, it seems my sickness has spread to you as well, and as they say, your head is starting to smell like herbs. Very well, congratulations. I didn’t know politics was as contagious as syphilis! Although colleagues often don’t tolerate one another, a wise man should have a broader vision. My point is this: though you managed to make a name for yourself overnight and your name is now on everyone’s lips in the streets, you’re still new to the field. I, on the other hand, have torn one more shirt in this arena than you. It would be better if we joined forces in this risky political game and supported each other. Surely, you’ve heard that one hand cannot clap. This is especially true in politics, where a group of tricksters dominates the field and refuses to accept new players. Do you think just because you yelled and confronted ministers and deputies yesterday, your life is now set? No, my dear! You’re dreaming! Tomorrow, the storm of slander and accusations will rain down on you so hard that the least of its consequences will be your wife declaring you cursed, impure, and worthy of death!”

After his speech, Haj Ali puffed on the hookah so hard that the water splashed, and smoke forcefully escaped from his nose. Though I didn’t fully understand his words, I knew Haj Ali was an experienced and cunning man. I also liked the idea of presenting myself as his peer in front of my wife. So, I accepted his proposal. We agreed that I would support his candidacy in the marketplace, and in return, he would guide me in the dangerous realm of politics.

Haj Ali also shared some “raw” advice that he claimed was the first step on the ladder of political success. As he left, he asked when the “next session” would be. The word “session” was foreign to me, and I hesitated to answer. Realizing my confusion, Haj Ali explained, “We politicians say, ‘When will the next session be?’” We decided that Haj Ali would teach me political terms in each “session.” That same day, he taught me some terms, a few of which I still remember:

    •    Bamaslak: religious or devout   •    Hammaslak: ally or associate   •    Fa’al: hard worker (literally, a dog on the run)   •    Kharij az Nezaket: impolite or inappropriate   •    Zendeh Bad: long live (literally, “may God grant them life”)   •    Moghe’iyat: situation or status