The Hype: Forget Wormholes—This "Stargate" Is All About AI Dominance
Oracle, SoftBank, and Donald Trump just dropped a bombshell: Project Stargate, a $500 billion AI infrastructure megaproject. No, it’s not about teleporting to distant galaxies (sorry, sci-fi fans). Instead, it’s about building the world’s largest data centers to churn out what critics call “AI slop” at an industrial scale. To put that number in perspective, the entire U.S. defense budget is $850 billion—and this project’s price tag is 60% of that. But while the Pentagon buys fighter jets and space lasers, Stargate’s backers are betting on algorithms.
Cue the drama.
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The Players: Tech Titans, Power Brokers, and One Salty Billionaire
- Masayoshi Son (SoftBank): The Japanese “Money Guy” bankrolling this insanity.
- Sam Altman (OpenAI): The “Gadget Guy” promising to make AI cheaper and cure cancer (more on that later).
- Larry Ellison (Oracle): The “Muscle” with a dystopian vision of AI surveillance. Oh, and he’s also fighting a legal war over JavaScript. Priorities.
- Donald Trump: The “Gas Man” using executive orders to divert energy resources. Because when you need power for AI, who you gonna call?
But someone’s missing from the squad: Elon Musk.
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The Drama: Elon’s Meltdown and Altman’s Sass
Elon, whose AI company xAI is about to launch Grok 3 (a reasoning model he claims beats rivals like DeepSeek), is fuming. He called Stargate “fake” and accused SoftBank of not having the cash.
Enter Sam Altman, serving a masterclass in passive aggression:
"Love you, Elon—but you’re wrong. Come visit the construction sites!”
Not to be outdone, OpenAI’s Sia Sootool backed Altman with a flex:
“I’m good for my $80 billion. Let’s get this done.”
Meanwhile, Larry Ellison is pitching Stargate as the future of personalized medicine, claiming it’ll create custom mRNA vaccines to cure cancer. But he’s also low-key plotting a surveillance dystopia:
“Citizens will behave because AI is watching everything. This future is coming… fast.”
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The Conspiracy Sauce: CIA Secrets, Reptilians, and a Roman Salute
- CIA’s Original Stargate: In the 1970s, the CIA ran a top-secret “Stargate” project exploring psychic warfare. Coincidence? Oracle insists the new Stargate is a “portal to other dimensions.” Sure, Jan.
- OpenAI’s Plot Twist: After years of claiming it’d never go for-profit, OpenAI just announced plans to make Sam Altman a billionaire. Cue the 2023 congressional hearing flashback:
“I’m doing this for love, not money!”– Altman, probably sweating.
- Elon’s Roman Salute: Musk recently greeted fans with a viral “Roman salute.” Conspiracy theorists say it’s a nod to a Tech Bro Dynasty ruled by reptilians (yes, those reptilians) who’ve controlled Earth since ancient Rome. All roads lead to Rome, folks.
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Why You Should Care (and Maybe Panic)
- The Good: Cheaper AI, cancer-curing vaccines, and 100,000 temporary jobs (until AI takes those too).
- The Bad: A surveillance state where AI tracks your every move. Larry Ellison’s vision of “good behavior” sounds like Black Mirror meets 1984.
- The Ugly: The PayPal Mafia is back. Altman, Musk, Ellison, and Peter Thiel (whose protégé, JD Vance, is now VP) are all connected. Oh, and Thiel’s reportedly prepping Vance to become president in 2027. Allegedly.
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The Final Twist: Is This All Scripted?
Plot twist: Insider rumors suggest the Elon vs. Altman feud is fake. They’re longtime bros who founded OpenAI together. Even Ellison helped Musk buy Twitter. This “drama” might just be a distraction while they build their Tech Oligarchy.
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Your Turn: Hype or Horror?
Is Project Stargate humanity’s next leap—or a dystopian nightmare? Drop your thoughts below.