Tips for getting out of the self-sacrifice trap or schema

Tips for getting out of the self-sacrifice trap or schema

1- Know that you are not responsible for the lives of others

2- Work on your self-esteem. Don’t think that if others don’t approve of you, it will diminish your character.

3- Reduce your services in a reverse staircase; that is, if you were serving others for 5 hours a day, work a few minutes less today. Don’t do a few of the small things you used to do for someone every day now.

4- Remember that when you start reducing your services, others will blame you at first. But keep going. Don’t make excuses in the face of others’ surprise. Change the subject with a smile.

5- Know that it is your inside that needs care. Since you don’t take care of it much, you start taking care of others.

6- Strengthen your ability to say no. Practice saying no to others sometimes with appropriate reasons.

7- Try to hear “no” more.  Most people who are in the self-sacrifice trap don’t want to hear “no.”

In short, breaking free from the self-sacrifice trap is about increasing self-esteem. Self-esteem is about loving yourself deeply. When you love yourself deeply, you find joy and worth within yourself and you no longer need the approval of others. As we said, the self-sacrifice schema somehow tells us that we need to take value from others. When value is within ourselves.

Strengthening Self-Esteem to Escape the Sacrifice Trap

In addition to in-person counseling sessions, it is better for people to do small things:

1- When you are in front of others, see what emotional needs you have inside. For example, are you afraid and need security? Or do you need someone to love you or any other internal need.

2- Do what you love for yourself. If you love something but can't get it, accept it. But if it's something that's not out of your reach, get it for yourself. Remember, you are the best for yourself. Until you love yourself and do something for yourself, no one will do anything for you.